Mornings....

Oh I need a break. This 5 am stuff is killing me. Tolan is soooo good in the mornings though. It just doesn't seem like getting up at that time should be legal. I think we need to go ahead and change his bed over. Maybe in the mornings when he gets up he will just play for a bit. I guess I shouldn't complain since everything else is going great.

I can't believe....

Christmas has come and gone. WOW! Where has this year went? I remember as a kid I thought I would never grow up. Now I want to go back sometimes. When did just having fun turn into worrying about what may happen. I just can't seem to remember when that changed. Well Tolan enjoyed Christmas...That is whats most important...

Shush Your Mouth....

Christmas....

This year I am just not in the Christmas spirit. I should be cause I do have a little one. But he doesn't even know what Christmas is. Maybe its because we are staying home and not visiting family this year. I don't know but I can't wait for it to be over.

Vacations!

Its always nice to have a vacay away from your kiddos. But why is it that when he goes to my MILs that I always worry the whole time?????

Death is a sad thing....

Its always sad to hear when someone has died. Its really sad when its someone you know. Its crazy cause you just never know when its your time. It could be 10 mins from now or 10 yrs from now. If you don't already do so...start living life to the fullest.

No Need For Words!

The Dreaded Christmas Shopping!

Oh I have to do it this week cause its now or never. I am scared. I am hoping if I can get in the stores as soon as they open that it won't be too bad.

TV or NOT TV? That is the Question!

TV that is....Tolan has recently taking a liking to the TV. I am a firm believer that the TV should never be used as a babysitter. He wants to watch Spongebob every time it comes on. While Spongebob is cool...Hes is not educational at all. Now Dora is educational but the bitch rubs me the wrong way and I won't let Tolan watch it. I am so torn over this whole TV situation.

13 Things That Piss Me Off!

1. People who bitch about there life but are to fucking lazy to actually do something to change it.
2. People who think there shit smells like roses and nothing can go wrong for them.
3. People who you can never make happy. They always want more than they have.
4. People who adjust who they are to fit in to what they are not.
5. People who have so much to say but not a ball to say it with.
6. People who don't realize that no matter how bad it is for you...someones got it worse.
7. People who bitch about the prices of gas yet run the roads burning the shit up for no reason.
8. People who don't put there children first in life.
9. People who make constant excuses to why they suck so bad.
10.People who are friends to your face and bitches behind your back.
11.People who are always willing to take but never give.
12.People who abuse the fucking welfare sysytem.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST....
13. People who can keep producing children yet won't take care of them.

Don't Tell!

Naps!

Why is it everyday that I plan to do something while Tolan naps I get so sleeping and nap too? My god if I had a JOB I don't think I could make it. I even nap on the days when Tolan doesn't nap. I just let daddy do Toddler Patrol! I guess whatever works but I feel like I am setting myself up for letdown by getting to nap everyday.

Oh Bloggy....

Where has time time gone? Seems like just yesterday I was posting but its really been way LONGER than that. I am sorry. Life has been extremely busy. I will do my very best to keep your updated.

Oh to have sleep again!

4th day in a row with out any sleep. It is sickening. I am sooooo tired yet as soon as I get in bed I am staring at the walls. Michael keeps telling me to take a shot of whiskey or something but flug that.

Mind You Business

13 Things I love about ME!

1. I'm not afraid to say what I feel!
2. I will give you the shirt off my back!
3. I love with every ounce of me!
4. I have fears and I am not ashamed to say so!
5. I have compassion of all animals!
6. I can get along with anyone!
7. I love my hair!
8. I don't follow trends...I do my own thing!
9. I love that I prefer being at home then out partying like my old life use to be.
10. I stand up for what I believe in!
11. I am not afraid to fail...Cause at least I tried!
12. I am a great mom to Tolan!
13. I love me because I am me!

13 Things I have Discovered as a MOM!

1. Its ok to get dirty!
2. Chocolate milk is ok cause it is made with Milk!
3. That its ok to make a mistake.
4. That being serious is no fun at all!
5. That the toys in the Happy Meals really do suck!
6. That laughing for no reason at all makes the world a better place.
7. That we can kill the boggieman with lysol!
8. That toilet paper rolls can be made into Ghost finders
9. That covering the whole bathroom with water during bathtime is really just cleaning it.
10. That eating with your hands is NOT considered to be a bad thing!
11. That its ok to cry just because.
12. That yes times are stressful and tiring but tomorrows a new day!

Sunday SLEEP!

Oh how I do miss those Sunday morning sleep ins. Don't get me wrong I would not change a thing right now. I just never realized how big a difference you would feel getting up on your own say at 8...sitting there waking up. Compared to now....at 8...Run frantically to the childs room..pick him up and comfort him....get him a bottle.....find the misplaced bear.....tuck him back in and pray that he falls back to sleep. When he does you realized that an hour and a half has passed and you really haven't done anything. Oh but I do love it!

Haiku Friday!

Not really sure what Haiku is all about but by God I am with the program!

Don't Speak!

Granny...Papa Tomorrow!

This afternoon my mom talked to Tolan. She told him that tomorrow when he woke up that he could come to her house. Well Tonight I was putting him to bed and as always I said Love you Tolan night night. The first thing he said was Granny Papa Tomorrow! Blew my freaking mind. He has picked up sooo much stuff. Its amazing that this little man that I grew in my belly is now having conversations with me. This has been without a doubt the best 20 months of my life.

I can't wait to see Tolan!

Well its been officially 72 hours since I have seen my Tolan. How I miss those early morning wake up calls. I rearranged and cleaned his room last night so that he would know that while he was still gone I was thinking of him. Little man brings me the most joy out of all the things in my life. This afternoon can't come soon enough for me!

Shhhh.......No Words

Ode To Icecream

Why is that stuff so fucking good? Me and Tolan were on the icecream isle for 45 mins trying to decide what the best plan of action was. Do we want something sugarfree that taste like dirt or do we want something yummy thats gonna add a couple pounds to the waist. It was a tough tough decision. And then the flavors.....Whatever happened to just Vanilla/Strawberry/Chocolate? What has this world come too when we have so many options of one product. In the end...we went for White Chocolate Strawberry....Only to be brought home and made into homemade shakes. Where we ended up in Tolans room with pillows all over watching Spongebob and drinking them. Can't be all that bad...RIGHT?!? Those are those precious moments that we can't get back.

13 Things I wanna do before I retire from this world!

1. Get skinny
2. Ride an airplane
3. Visit France
4. Smoke in Amsterdam
5. Get a degree
6. Have something published
7. Find out the truth of my dads death
8. Take a mud bath
9. Get a massage for real
10. Start a business
11. Find a way to eat anything yummy and not gain weight
12. Find a cure for my mom
13. Watch Tolan graduate highschool

Right now I am so fucking far behind I may never die!

Wordfree Wednesday!

The Real Me....

So who am I?

Me in a nutshell....

I am....

I am very shy.
I am NOT afraid to cry.
I do not trust everyone....You have to earn my trust.
I wear my heart on my sleeves.
I do not believe in revenge...lifes to short to waste time on a fucker who could care less.
When I love....I love. When I hate....I hate.
I am a worrier.
I like to laugh at stupid jokes and cry during movies that are not real.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason.

Thats me in a nutshell...take me or leave me.

A blog for my mom.

God it is sooo hard to leave her. She is my other half for sure. I can remember being a kid and clinging to her leg so she couldn't go anywhere with out me. Its amazing that 20 yrs later I am still trying to cling to her leg. I think a big part of it has to do with my dad dying and all I've had was her. I took her to meet my stepdad today and I cried the whole hour and half back home. It breaks my heart. Michael made the statement today that shes not always gonna be here....OMG I don't think I could deal with the loss of her. She has been my biggest supporter my whole life. No matter what mistakes I made...she always backed my up and said it was ok. Just thinking about not having that anymore is enough to make me break down. Well thanks for reading.

Oh its been a while....

So I have been very MIA. Dealing with life love and the pursit of happiness. It seems like not enough hours in the day. I can remember when the days would never end. Now you try to hold on to every second as if its the last. I can remember sleeping all day just cause and now...not wanting to even go to sleep cause I'm afraid to miss something. Being a mom is more than I could ever imagine....I have learned that to never take anything for granted. We are only given this one chance at life and I want to make the best of it. Yes...hard times do come but the good will always outweigh the bad. So for now...I'm having fun and enjoying my life.

Update on my mom!

Shes having her plastic surgery Wednesday morning at 7am! They will be doing 2 seperate skin graphs. They are hoping to be bale to send her home Thursday!

Yeah ok so...

Apparently I'm a blogger now! I'm Kailea...wifey to Micahel and mommy to Tolan. Lifes great....complete happiness and this is my place to bitch!